Ramsey’s Job Application

Notes From Our Book Launch
April 3, 2018
Blue’s Greyt Adventure #getBluetoAntarctica
June 18, 2018

Ever since he was sacked as Head of Home Security after allowing the shed to burn down (*true story, find out more below), Ramsey has been looking for another opportunity and, today, he saw his dream job…..#CanineCritic2018. This involves reviewing holibobs for Canine Cottages, so he got very excited and just had to apply. Here is his application in full, he wrote a bit too much so I had to help him edit it down for the actual application. Would you hire him? Applications close at the weekend so paws crossed ….

What are your hobbies?

Every day I wakes up with a bounce, happy to see the world. I luffs life and living it to the full, chasing my ball, sleeping in the sun, playing in the fields, walking, swimming….I really luffs swimming! I has two sisters; Blue is an 8 year old ex-afflete greyhound and Sally is the scary hairy one. She’s 15 and a lurcher like me but a scruffy one. She likes to sleep and potter while Blue and I go on hadventures together. We even star in our very own books!!

I is really good at playing ball but also really good at sleeping. I am a sun lizard and luff finding sunny spots to sleep. I also really luffs going on long walks with Mum and Dad and exploring new places.

My favourite thing to eat is cheese. Can you believe Mum and Dad went to a cheesel factory in Yorkshire and didn’t even take me?!?! The cheek of it all. There is a luffly beach not too far from our house and every time we go there we gets ice cream afterwards. I usually gets extra ice cream as Mum is a bit of a muppet and drops hers…I’m always happy to help clean up.

What are your interests, favourite holiday etc.?

My favourite holibob ever (other than staying with Ontie Gill and Oncle Phil) was when we went to the Lake District. We stayed at a hotel which wasn’t great – it only had a bed for hoomans and no sofa for us ☹ but it did let dogs stay so I suppose it was ok. Mum and Dad took us on a boat over to an island with a castle….I discovered I don’t like boats but islands and castles are great fun, especially islands with pubs and chips! We also went to see another castle which was high up on a hill and I got so excited I had to run up to the very top to look and see, but then got scareded and Dad had to carry me down. So embarrassing! After that, we went to a big lake, I think it was called Windymere or something (it was definitely windy) and I ran and ran and ran chasing my bally in the water. When I couldn’t run anymore we went to a(nother) pub and had ice cream….the perfect day!

I also luffs camping but not tents…it’s glamping only for this pup. We had a luffly snowy time in a yurt in Yorkshire with a big bed and wood burning stove to sleep in front of. I wasn’t allowed in the hot tub though. Anytime we get in the car I gets excited as I know another hadventure is coming…and hadventures are my favourite things in the world!

Why should you get the position?

When I was just a little pup I was abandoned and throwed away just like rubbish. Some kind people found me when I was so scared and little and cold and made everything better, then Mum and Dad showed up one day and dognapped me. Ever since then life has been good – one big hadventure – and I want to make life better for other dogs just like me.

My sister Blue and I has raised lots of money to help other doggies with our books and now I would luff to be able to help them find nice places to take their hoomans. Hoomans need rescuing too and it’s up to us dogs to do it, whether that’s finding them a nice place for an holibob so they can be less stressded or giving them extra cuddles (I luffs cuddles) then it’s important for us to help them.

I has been to the mountains & the lakes & the beach & I think I can be a very good reviewer of holibobs. I luffs to travel & I know what makes a good hadventure. My sister Blue would be a big help as she always finds the comfiest beds, so I thinks we would be a great critic team.

*So what happened to the shed……?

We’re not sure but what we do know is that 4 years ago I went to work at 11pm for an overnight shift and the shed was fine. I got home at 7:30 the next morning to find a bewildered husband standing in the garden with the charred remains of what looked like an exploded shed scattered across the garden, the back of the camper van melted and our giant pear tree looking very singed. When we called the fire department to report this, we discovered that a shed fire had been reported by our neighbours at approximately 12:30am. They had sent two fire engines, hoses were pulled through the garden and the fire dept spend a long time putting out the fire and pounding on our front door before assuming nobody was home and leaving. However, both Dave and Ramsey were home and had SLEPT through the entire event!